Tuesday, September 3, 2013

To lend or not to lend?

Lending money has caused many marriage woes. It seems there is one who wants to lend while the other is opposed to the idea. Can you guess which one I am? Let's put it this way, I have seen a loan turn into a loss on more than one occasion. 

So then how does a couple handle it when those relatives and friends "need" a loan? First off, the couple must already have a plan of action in place if/when this occurs and it should be agreed upon by both parties. Always stand united and not un-tied.

I polled others on this lending money idea and pretty much I heard the same types of thoughts. Don't lend it with the idea of getting it back....in essence if you have it just give it! I agree, however, I must delve a little deeper.

What constitutes a legitimate need? Car breaking down? Rent due? Taxes unpaid? Kids need clothes? This can be subjective. Is the need due to improper planning or wastefulness? Is it a matter of mismanaged money practices and lack of stewardship? These are things to consider when discussing with your spouse which route to take.

These types of things are not the same as emergencies such as fires, thefts, job lay offs and the like, something totally out of a person's control. Of course we are to show compassion, love in action in such cases.

Remember, gifting money can only be done if you have it to give. Perhaps there can be other alternatives to giving money. You may be able to meet the need by giving food, clothes or school supplies.

So what's the final take on lending money, especially for couples. Don't. If you have it to spare you might consider giving/gifting it without looking for it back. Other than that you may take a chance on not only ruining the relationship with the borrower but also with the spouse and the spouse you have to live with! 

everyday talk for everyday women...

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